I'm thinking about A again, although it's not like it's a big surprise. I just like him a lot, but I need to be cautious about our friendship because it's so important to me. I just really want to see him again, but I guess the time isn't right. It's still really hard though. I'm currently a thousand miles away from him (although that distance is usually 2,000 miles) and all I want is to reunite with him. It doesn't have to be a big spectacle or anything...I just really miss him.
That is one of the many reasons why I am glad that in less than two weeks, I will be heading back to Georgia and back to school. It isn't that I am not busy here, because I am, but I'm not busy enough. I need to keep myself focused this year. It will be good for just about everything, especially my relationship with A.
Oh love, how often is too often to try to contact a guy you're interested in? Why do us girls torture ourselves so much with the notion that we are to just sit back and let the men do all of the pursuing? I mean, it hasn't quite worked out for me so far. Thus far, I've never really been pursued by anyone decent. I know it sounds quite vain, but you have to understand, if I had accepted the advances of any of those other guys, while they would have been quite happy, I would have been miserable because I wasn't being true to myself. Therefore, I wouldn't have been fair to them. I feel like it makes me look a little mean, but I don't want to settle when I know that there is something better out there for me. Someone like A, or maybe not. Someone like you.
In other news, I stumbled across this awesome site yesterday. It's called "Dear Young Me". It's pretty neat because you can write short notes to your past self and the best ones are actually published onto the site for the world to see. I wrote quite a few yesterday, just various thoughts about the things in my past that still sometimes come to my mind. All in all, it was quite therapeutic and it was great to read the notes of other people as well. Which gets me to thinking, what would you and I write to ourselves in 2011? Would I be telling myself to be patient because you are definitely going to be coming into my life soon? Would you be telling yourself to have more courage with the not-so-distant future young woman that is me because I really love you?
Love, when we find each other, I want to spend our lives talking and thinking about all of the many things and ideas in this world, both within our lives and outside of our lives. And as much as I want to find you tomorrow, as desperately as I want to learn your name, I must be patient, because with every passing day, that magical day of you and I inches ever closer.
Love like Always,
Jennifer
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