Wednesday, July 6, 2011
Dear Mr. X,
I wonder when you'll be reading this next letter of mine. Will it be right after the first one or will it be after our honeymoon (which I am totally sure will be fabulous)? Anyway, I wanted to take the time to write about my hopes and dreams for you...or to put it bluntly, my expectations.
Now, please understand that since I am flawed I will appreciate your flaws, or whatever expectations I list that you somehow don't fulfill. After all, I can forget many flaws in a heartbeat if there are other traits and aspects that will make up for them, and I am sure that I will forget all about them and only focus on the good, because that will be why I love you so much. And likewise, I am sure that I too will have flaws (for I am flawed love, believe me) that will drive you bonkers. I merely want to preserve these expectations for the moment and see how they change in the future.
So...what do I really want to see in you?
Well, I'd really like for you to be intelligent, and preferably doing something with your life. Honestly, I think you'll have both of these in the bag when we marry, for just about every guy I have ever fallen for has been smart. I have this expectation when it comes to dating for the sakes of both me and the guy. The fact is, I want to be able to have an intelligent conversation with my love about just about any subject, and I do not want the man I'm with to ever feel trumped by me, and that's the point. I want us to be equal partners in crime as far as our minds go.
Also, I would enjoy it if you were funny, but considering that I am not I can easily let this one go. I am pretty sarcastic though, and I think that would probably go along with the smart trait, don't you think? No matter what, I do know that I want the two of us to share an incredible number of inside jokes together.
Physically, I do not have too many expectations although I would like for you to ideally be fit, but like I said, no one is perfect and I am no exception to this rule. However, I would like for you to have the desire to be physically fit if you aren't already. I have struggled with my weight for the past decade or so, and let's face the facts: since you and I will be married, I will one day be having your children, and how can I get to pre-pregnancy fitness if you are not trying to be an example and a teammate with me. Also, I want both of us to influence our children to be fit as well. In a world where more and more children are becoming overweight at an earlier age, I am determined to help my children to be healthy, even though they aren't here yet.
Spiritually, I want you (no I need you) to be open to the Christian faith. This is probably my most important expectation. You see, I am a girl who has known life on the line between being a Christian and being an agnostic, and it is not a fulfilling place at all. As complicated as my life is, my faith in Christ brings me an incredible amount of peace, and ideally I want a man who I can be rest-assured is someone who I can spend the rest of eternity with after we die. I mean, I know that marriage is only until death dues us part since it does not exist in heaven, but I am the kind of person who wants everyone she loves with her when all is said and done. Now, ideally it would be great if you were a Christian when I meet you, but if you are not, I want you to at least be open to the ideas of Christianity, as well as open to the prospects of connecting to a church and raising any children we have as Christians. I will not try to convert you though. I respect your ideas just as you will hopefully respect mine. But a relationship with God is absolutely fulfilling. He has pursued me my entire life, even as I wondered about the reality of His existence as a teenager.
But most importantly, remember that I love you, as flawed and imperfect as you are. You are wonderful, and that is one expectation that I know will be true.
All my love,
The Future Mrs. X