Sunday, July 10, 2011
Dear Mr. X,
I went on a beautiful hike near the Continental Divide today, and I saw some lovely wildflowers along the way. Spring and summer never cease to amaze me, for as cold and barren as the world can be during the winter (although since I live year-round in Georgia I doubt I know what a real winter really is) it always makes way for the beauty of life in the spring, and even the barrenness of winter can be appreciated.
I suppose that this is the place I am at right now in my life. This is not to say that I am in the winter of my life yet, because I am certainly not, but have you ever noticed how the year begins in the winter? I've always found that to be a little odd since spring is the first season, and yet, there may be something symbolic to the placement of the seasons. At the beginning of life, you have virtually nothing to show for your life because there is nothing much to it yet. However, you are still growing and eventually, spring will come and you will blossom.
But it really makes me wonder how long winter really lasts at the beginning of life. When do you really blossom? Is it when you reach adolescence or does it take longer than that? It must be different for everyone, just as spring comes to different places in the world at different times every year (for as I write this it feels like spring in MT while in GA it must be the middle of a hot summer).
Yet as much as I struggle to achieve my full potential, I sometimes wonder what you are having to deal with as I go through my own triumphs and struggles in life's journey. Where are you, right now, as I write this? I know it will probably be difficult to recall years from now when we are married and I have given you this letter and all of the others I have written for you to read, but I am honestly curious. What is going on in your life right now? What are you struggling with? I wish I could know all of these things about you, but unfortunately at this point in my life all I can possibly know of you is what I dream about you, which means I am essentially staring at a blank slate and trying to picture something there.
But I take comfort in knowing that you are out there. Sure, nothing is a guarantee in life, but I know that you're out there and these letters are my way of expressing my love for you even before we've met. You could be living really close to me, or perhaps you're thousands of miles away from where I live, but you are here on this Earth right now, and in the not-so-distant future, we will find one another and I will finally learn your name.
And you'll learn mine. Suddenly your Mrs. X will become Mrs. Jennifer X, and our lives will never be the same. I don't know if this realization will be the dawn of spring for my life just yet, but when we meet, spring will definitely be in the air, at least in my life.
I hope this wasn't too far out, love, but I like to express what I feel.
Your future Mrs. X