Letter #6

Dear Mr. X,

I went on another hike today, and the scenery was so beautiful I felt like I was in the Sound of Music (I sang a little from it too as a matter of fact).  Overall quite a surprising and lovely day (despite the fact that I got a sunburn, I'm not used to the lack of protection from city smog but isn't that a good thing?), and in the morning, to my own surprise, a squirrel decided to come over to me and cling onto my jeans on my left leg for a short moment, and that has never happened to me before.  The hike was about ten miles in total, although it was nicely split so I was able to have lunch and enjoy a nap in the meadow before we headed back down the pass.

So I suppose it is time to tell you about the current state of my love life in this letter.  I'm not sure how you will feel about this, hearing about all of the other men that I am interested in before I meet you, but I am doing this to preserve these moments of my life for you.  Also, one day, one of these men will be you (although if guy A ended up being you, I'd be awfully surprised by my luck) and one of the purposes of these letters is for you to see how I will fall in love with you.  Therefore, I have to tell you because there is more to these letters than the immense love that I already feel for you (as it is a preservation of the life I am living right now at twenty-one and however long I have before I meet you at last).

So, for privacy's sake, let's call this guy A, as he is the first guy I am interested in since beginning these letters.  Anyway, I have known A for a very long time, since I was about 11 to be exact.  When I was 13, I had a crush on him, but I brushed that one aside because I believed there was no way that he and I would ever be together.  Well, I was wrong.  When I was 17, we were briefly together, although it was very casual.  Anyway, he went off to college at that point and I moved on with my life.  The following year he joined the military.  Time passed, and last year he contacted me once again, although merely on a friendly basis.  This year, he contacted me again after his girlfriend broke up with him, and we have been talking fairly regularly ever since, although a relationship is definitely not in the works at the moment.

I would love to have a relationship with A because, in my opinion, he is amazing.  He is ever gracious and, at least with me, he has always been respectful and he always does what it best for our friendship.  He has made quite a few mistakes in his life, but I feel like he is learning from them and I honestly can overlook the mistakes in his life.  Right now, I know that a relationship is out of the question, as we are nowhere near close enough, but I want us to be closer, and eventually, I think we could have a wonderful relationship.  I doubt he feels the same way, but if he is ever willing to give me a chance, unless I have moved on, I will take it.

Right now, I know that it is hard for him in the military.  He is homesick, and while I am homesick as well I can rejoice in the fact that I will be home within a month, whereas he has no idea when his next chance to come home will be.  All I know is, when that day comes, I really want to see him, have coffee or something.  We desperately need to catch up in person.  It might clear up a lot of my feelings, or it may just make me want to date him more.  It's hard to say, but overall, it would be great for our friendship for us to reunite.

I hope that wasn't too hard for you to read Sweetheart, but if I am going to find you one day, I have to actually look for you, and I have to start somewhere right?  And if you are not A, just imagine what you will feel when you get to read the letter in which I meet you.  It will be pretty special won't it?  And remember, though my heart may wander now, eventually it will find you, and since you will marry me you have already earned my love, even though neither of us know any of this yet.

Love,
Jennifer, the Future Mrs. X